Shug0tenshi (shug0tenshi) wrote,

I hate this as a form of communication.

I really don't like posting to Livejournal anymore. Yet it still is the most effective way to communicate to everyone all at once.

I knew it would come to something like this eventually. Last night I sat on my couch while she told me that this was something so special to her, and it meant so much to her that I was actually doing this. My eyes glossed over the faux-gold lettering, "Another Testament of Jesus Christ." She wanted me to read the her book, the one that's supposed to be written by the big man in the sky who gets capitalized pronouns when we reference him. I still refuse to do that.

I broke up with Anna three days ago, exactly five weeks after we started dating. That's a lot shorter than I wanted it to be. Still is. This post is just me telling everyone that. And sort of outlining why I did in that second paragraph. It was going to come to us trying to convert and change each other at some point, and I didn't want that. It would have just been too hard for either of us and ended in tragedy anyway. So now I'm here with the Book of Mormon after having promised to read it. I feel cheated. I had her promise to research the criticism surrounding her religion if I'm going to do this. I feel cheated on this because I doubt she's going to do more than she did, which was just to look at and see a rather butchered representation of good arguments by a fairly deranged former Mormon. I think that made her feel more like I needed 'help' or something. I really hate that she won't think reasonably about the critical view of her religion for a moment. This is why it couldn't work.

I'm sorry to those of you who wanted to meet her and I was too lazy to set it up. Now maybe you will and maybe you won't. I can't say, and I'm sorry for that.
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